Shari Becker's Home Page

I wanted to raise strong, healthy girls. Girls free of cancer-causing toxins. Girls free of "bring on early periods" growth hormones. Girls free of excess antibiotics. Girls free of serious allergies. I would do it all right.

I bought metal cups, unbreakable glass dishes. I spent a gazillion dollars on groceries from Whole Foods. I stressed, I sweat, and I agonized. Heck, I nursed both of my kids until they were each 27 months old.

Six years ago when I became pregnant with Emelia, I said goodbye to soda, coffee, all high-mercury fish, and most of all, peanuts and all other tree nuts - except for almonds. After all, almonds are the least allergenic of all the nuts.

So in September, when Helaina broke out in hives from head to toe after polishing off an organic, healthy store bought cookie from Whole Foods, I was shocked. She scratched her eyes, her ears, her lips. She whimpered and keeled over saying her tummy hurt. She ran around rubbing her back against the wall like a cat. She was itchy everywhere.

Benadryl is a beautiful thing, and she sat happily sucking her thumb just twenty minutes later ... albeit a little sleepy. I read those ingredients many times over the next few days. There was nothing in there that she hadn't eaten before. Just a note at the bottom saying, "This product was manufactured on equipment shared with tree nuts, dairy and soy." Or something like that.

Five months later, just weeks ago, we visited the allergist. (Yes, that's how long it took to get in!) I described how my happy-go-lucky daughter stopped eating recently, pushing away foods that she once inhaled. I told about the recurring fluid in Hallie's ears and our ongoing battle with congestion, illness and ear infections.

She told me Helaina is moderately allergic to many things:

milk (casein to be specific),
sesame,
chicken,
avocado,
tomato,
and ...
almonds.

"It's all moderate," she said. "Not life threatening. No need for an epi pen at this point. Take her off all those foods for six weeks or so. See how she does. Always have Benadryl. In an emergency, call 911. Blah, blah, blah. Probably effected her ears. Probably effected her health. Probably why she stopped eating and was getting stomach aches ...."

She assured me that lots of kids outgrow many food allergies. But I have to be careful about the almonds. Nut allergies, as it turns out, are tricky. Often an allergy to one can lead to an allergy to another. The allergies can become more serious too.

No more food samples in stores. No more buying baked goods from an open case in a grocery store. All ingredients must be read vigilantly. All foods must be checked.

I'm dealing with the realities of it all, but I'm struggling with the implications. Cooking and feeding my family is really hard. Feeding Hallie is even harder -- her diet is limited.

She is allergic to all the foods I ate and fed her regularly. (I never gave her almonds.) Two years of nursing possibly made her sicker instead of stronger. I feel guilty.

I visited Whole Foods a few days after her diagnosis. I was shocked to see that my mecca of healthful living carries predominantly foods that have traces of milk, tree nuts, peanuts, soy, and sesame. How can that be? Shouldn't a store dedicated to healthful, organic living carry a range of products safe for allergy sufferers? Shouldn't more organic brands be concerned about contamination? I left ... disheartened, betrayed by the store I had dumped so many dollars into.

Now, I must shop at regular grocery stores. The big name brands, like Kraft, General Mills, Nabisco, and Duncan Hines are all very careful about labeling their foods. These ordinary grocery store items filled with all the preservatives and dyes I so vehemently avoided are safer for my kid than the all-natural, organic, made-with-love-in-our-kitchen crackers I was feeding her before.

Who'd have thunk it?

Hallie is back to her old self. She's eating a ton of food, and her nose is much less stuffy than it was just a few weeks ago. Not a peep about a tummy ache.

So while my kid munches on genetically engineered products, full of icky preservatives, like BHT, I'm left pondering the irony of my best laid plans.