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 "Mama, do wishes come true?"

This was the question Emelia asked me last week while we were driving.

"Why do you ask," I inquired.

"Because I made a wish on a star a few weeks ago, and it didn't come true," was her reply.

It was a tough question, and I didn't quite know how to answer. Thoughts went whirling through my head. What if I tell her wishes come true, and then the things she wishes for don't happen? What if I tell her they don't, and then I crush her little spirit forever, sending her into years and years of therapy?

"Well," I began. "Wishes are tricky because some come true and some don't."

"There are some wishes," I explained, "that no matter how hard you wish and no matter how hard you try just can't come true. Like if you wished that you could grow wings and fly, that can't happen because people don't have feathers and don't grow wings. But if you wished that you could learn to fly a plane, that wish could come true. Because you can make that wish happen. You can set your mind to anything you imagine possible."

I thought back to my eight-year-old self.

"I hope my grandmother doesn't die from the cancer? Please don't let her die."

And then after she died:

"I wish that my whole family -- my mom, my dad, my sister and me can be healthy and happy forever. I wish that nothing bad ever happens to us, and that we all live together forever."

I looked up at the stars every night wishing frantically, begging the powers that be to spare me and my loved ones for things that were totally out of my control.

I don't mean to be a total downer here. It's just that this whole topic of wishing has me thinking about how we prepare ourselves for the road ahead, and how we deal with the things that are beyond us. I'm pretty sure that Emelia's wishes are far less dramatic than mine were. I mean, she's probably wishing she could be a princess or a fairy. She's wishing for that skirt she saw in a catalog, and for another tiny rubber Disney princess to add to her collection. But dreams and aspirations are an important part of who she is right now, and how they play out will impact the person she becomes.

"So Mom," she continued. "Is there really such thing as an Easter bunny? Or is it just a grown up wearing a bunny costume?"

Argh. She was killing me. We certainly don't celebrate Easter in our Jewish home, but her grandparents celebrate and her school holds an Easter egg hunt. In my head I imagined myself saying, "There's no such thing as the Easter bunny, there's no such thing as Santa, and before we even get there, forget that whole tooth fairy thing, too."

 This time, however, I was a little smarter.

"What do you think?" I asked her. "Do you think there is an Easter bunny?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "I think it is just a grown up."

I thought I'd be relieved to hear her answer. I have been working hard to teach her some of the religious and cultural differences between her grandparents and us. But in truth, I felt a little sad. She is just beginning to figure things out, and I'm not ready for her to lose her sense of wonder.

 We all need to have wishes. Dreams and goals that we aspire to meet. I want my kids to reach for the stars and do everything in their power to try and reach them. But wishing touches on other important issues like faith in yourself and faith in whatever religion you follow. It makes me realize that part of raising a secure, happy little person is fostering in her a sense of belief both spiritually and personally. Egads, there's a lot of work ahead.

"Ok Mom," she said, "I think I have a good wish then. I wish that I can go to Disneyland someday."

I laughed. "Now that is one wish that might someday come true." And it just might.

"That's a great wish," I added. "You just keep on wishing and wishing because you never know which ones might come true."

She looked out the window smiling, surely entertaining visions of Cinderella, Snow White and Emelia in her head.